I walk in and look around; I don’t see much, there is someone’s leg over there, that shape is of two people kissing, I’m not sure. Someone just touched my right arm, it’s a sense of longing that I don’t want to be part of, and so I keep walking.
I get to the sofa in the end of this corridor of mystery, I sit, I close my eyes, I listen to the moans and whispers, it’s a background of pleasure and if I listen carefully I know exactly what is going on.
He is slowly getting inside her, it’s the best part, it’s the only conscious part of the whole fucking, when her body is awakening for the second time to his presence, when it opens to him a bit unwillingly therefore each cell in the body freezes and their atoms oscillate and vibrate a bit differently for a fraction of a second. They are not them for an instant, and they would look into each other’s eyes to find themselves if it wasn’t so dark.
I recline my head and just feel the sounds. The air is so thick it’s like I am having sex with all these people.
He is still slow, she holds her breath and dies in his arms to be reborn a second later in his exhale. She is very wet, it is perfect to go faster but he keeps holding so she has no choice but to move her hips forward. It’s that sense of longing I don’t want to be part of, so I shift my attention to a person standing alone on the other side of the corridor, right in the corner so no one can see them. Who is the real voyeur, my friend? Is it you hiding like a thief, or me pretending I am not here in plain sight?
I could spend here the whole night and collect people’s stories, and never understand why I wanted to be part of this when it’s fine to sit back and observe myself in others. Do I have to feel sexual to describe sex? Do I have to be sad to talk about my feelings? Do I have to be joyous to smile? Can something be intrinsically beautiful without arousing feelings? Can I be part of this without touching anyone, not even myself? Do I have to be here for my mind to be stimulated? The answer to all this can be –no-, but will it ever be enough?
