I worked for Victoria+Jean years ago, it was my first booking as a model from abroad and I couldn’t believe I was worth it. But I was and they effortlessly showed me that if I was there it was for a reason and it was simply because I existed.
I still remember one evening at their studio, Victoria banging on those drums just because why not, me observing her behind the glass; Jean was sat on the floor, playing guitar, showing me a cool drop D riff. I was sat on the sofa, feeling guilty for forgetting my chocolate there but still not killing their dog that ate the entire bar!
I then burst into tears and Jean put down the guitar and comforted me, Victoria came to us and sat on the floor next to Jean. They told me amazing words of worth, love, understanding, of support... and for me it was just enough to see their union in trying to pick up a broken human being and put them back together.
The shoot of the music video for “Holly” happened in two days and it was fucking devastating for everyone. Very long hours, 5am travelling from Brussels to this mansion in the middle of nowhere, a cold place filled with beautiful death and dust; everyone spoke French and I just sat around with myself when I was not required on set. I observed people to the point I forgot who I was. And that was ok because all that mattered was Holly, Holly who didn’t want to realise, to turn the page, to grow up. It was nice to be Holly for a couple of days. It was nice to be someone else but... I was probably more Holly than Holly could have ever been.
Victoria and Jean walked the place like they owned it; they walked any place like they owned it and they simply didn’t give a fuck because they had each other, in good and bad. Any time they would be around, the room would light up and people would smile or just stare at them like idiots. They had a strong sexual energy that they just channelled into everything, freely, passionately, unapologetically. I would look at them and think that if I ever were to commit to a relationship, it had to be like that or it was not worth it. They looked like they were best friends, and then came the rest, and then came the music, physical attraction, and then came the rest of the world.
I remember them showing me their promo pictures of them laying in a bath filled with milky water. Victoria told me about Jean having an erection that day, because they had to be naked in the tub and when the shoot was over he had to sit in the water a little bit longer. Jean didn’t flinch, he was not embarrassed, he just told me “she was just... so beautiful, you know”. I loved that openness, and I loved how he talked about her whether she was around or not, I loved seeing them prioritising each other over everything, over everyone, over the entire Universe. You can feel it in their music, and that’s why when I start to listen to a song I just let it roll on repeat and each time I have a different dream, a different feeling, and a different memory of the two of them pops to my mind. And each song they write is so different from the previous one, they have so much to say and in so many ways.
Victoria and Jean have no idea of what they’ve done to me by just being themselves, and their music is still my go to when I am lost and lonely, or horny and confident, or happy and full of energy. When I forget who I am, I press play, close my eyes and breathe and listen to the words and every little detail I know they obsessed over like it was the last thing they were doing in their life, and I find my strength. And for that I am grateful.
Now, everyone go listen, and be free, and sexual, and remember you are not alone.
This is me, barely dressed, as usual, with my personal Jesus and silent friends. Holly.