The first time I tried a Doxy wand I was blown away. I remembered those kink.com films in which people would lose their mind over a vibrator and I thought it must have been because of the intensity of the BDSM session in itself and because of that only. Well, I was partly wrong.
I was in Berlin and it was the first time with my current partner and I found myself worried because I struggled to orgasm. I had no issues on my own but it would take me a while with a new partner, and most of the time it just didn’t happen altogether. He was going down on me and I was turning into a bunch of nerves, my thoughts drifting away, dissociating. He must have sensed it and he took it easy, said he wanted me to try something and took out his Doxy Die Cast. It looked intimidating, my eyes went wide but I was back into my own body and I decided to give it a try.
I am not saying Doxy is now the solution to all my problems related to sexual pleasure... But it is.
He pressed the wand’s silicone head against my clit, softly, and turned the vibrator on. I don’t remember which level of intensity he started from but I had no idea I could feel like that in my own body. It was simply too much and yet... I didn’t want it to stop. I could feel myself alive and present, very grounded but without all the worries in my head, nothing mattered, only me and the release of endorphins and serotonin in huge quantities I thought were not possible naturally.
I sometimes forgot to breathe to the point he had to remind me; he told me there were nine levels of vibration and we were on level four and I thought “holy fuck”. And because the Die Cast model is made of aluminium and titanium, it’s heavy, it has a natural rumble to it when you apply more pressure, so it’s just a blessing for someone like me, because I like it hard but I become too sensitive very quickly; you can play between all those levels of vibration and how much pressure you apply and find the perfect balance, you have options, you can personalise your experience, and you deserve it.
Later on he started to use his fingers too, holding the wand’s head in his hand and pressing it against my clit, his fingers inside me passing some of that vibration to other internal spots. It was too much for the first time. Everything was just so wonderfully too much! It was an interesting experience, observing myself getting used to more, more of pleasure, more of everything, more of myself and the levels I could climb were simply infinite. Our bodies can take in everything.
I can take level nine now and I will also press the wand against my body to feel it vibrate in my bones and as someone who made of their sluthood a job, I am just grateful to myself for prioritising pleasure and for the fact that my pleasure is taken seriously by the people I sleep with, by the industry I work in, and by companies like Doxy.
I came back to London still smiling, and my vagina would flare up anytime I would remember how I felt with the Doxy against my clitoris. It was a relief to know that I could orgasm anytime I wanted, with anyone I wanted, as much as I wanted. A granted orgasm. A strong, overwhelming, mind blowing guaranteed orgasm that would remind me that I deserved pleasure at all times.
With this new awareness in my mind, I opened the drawer next to my bed and took out all my sex toys and tried each one of them and realised that the only orgasm I could get was not making me justice; if I wanted more than one, the toys I had were simply not enough and two of them died on me because they are rechargeable and the batteries couldn’t keep up with my libido. I felt disappointed and frustrated and I made this.
Laughter is a good way to process negative emotions and sitting around crying was not going to get me anywhere anyway. I reached out for support and understanding from my community but got so much more. Doxy got in touch with me and I now have my own wand, it’s a classic black vibrator and I leave it plugged in next to my bed, so it’s always ready and it never fails me and I can cum as much as I want and no one can stop me (well, perhaps an electricity blackout). The classic wand is less intense than the Die Cast, it is not as rumbly but its lightness makes it easier to use during penetration so that your partner can apply more pressure with their body against yours with the Doxy between the two of you. You can also use it on a penis, that’s so, so, so much fun! But that’s a story for another time.
This is my story. What’s yours?
